Raining&raining

Cooking porridge now,CH not feeling well.Hoepfully he get well soon.I was talking with Mimi yesterday night.I told him about the email content which Ivy,Ah Eng and my sis wrote me.I have no idea whether he went to read my blog or not,but he was saying really make me wonder a lot of things .I am not angry at him,i am not..er...i don't know how to describe the feeling,but i was feeling funny when the moment he told me until now.I don't know what i need to do with myself,no idea at all.Running our of idea again.Hai doesn't like this kind of feeling.

He told me though he doesn't want to be here,his dad want him to be here,but in this 2 and the half years,he never even once think that he is here because of his dad.He said this is only the process of life.We need to go through this.We are born to study,we need to do our task,we must live for our own.He said he only wants to get the degree,but by choosing this pathway,he didn't lose anything but the only thing is-- time is longer than other degress.I don't know.For me,i suddenly lost myself again.Just lost in the air,I clearly knew that i have no time to hesitate or reluctant about what am i doing now.Who do i did all this for?Myself?My family?My future?

Aih...i have no answer for these questions.All these so called question have been bugging me for almost a week liao.I hope i can get answer for all this,actually i think the answer is already there but need sometime for me to rearrange my mind setting.I hope i can cope with it soon.